Destroying Anger

There is a life force in the universe that is perpetuated by one that has made it the purpose of his very existence to demean and bring the downfall of man. This person brings this life force knowing that its destruction is capable of destroying the very essence of man, and doing so in the ignorant sight of natural man. However, many would have you believe that this life force is one that can control you and rears its ugly head regardless of your desires of the contrary, but this thought process is absolutely incorrect as it is not capable of control of anything but that which you allow in your life. Contrary to the belief of most of the world anger does not and cannot control us. “Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family” (1)? Anger seems to really only rear its ugly head at those that we care about the most. Family and friends become the target of our wrath for reason of selfish interests, and the person that most often is the target of our wrath is that of our spouse and children, usually in that order.

Sadly, I have experience with this very thing. I have grown up being angry with “the whole world” as they would say, and because of this it has become very easy to use my anger toward my wife and children. I am not proud of this, and I am working hard to change this awful habit. The Lord has stated, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them” (2), and “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (3). Neither of these teachings indicate that the anger is something that influence, but on the contrary is indicative of free choice by those delivering it. This anger that is set upon our families is done so by our choice. There are many that would argue that their anger was set upon them by someone else. However, the truth is the anger is a force that is grown and chosen by us and no one else. When we allow this anger to move within us and affect and influence our family it can and will destroy everything in its path. I can say with certainty that anger is the father to such things as spite, offense, criticism, and soul crushing belittling. We must not allow ourselves to bring this force into the light. As a matter of fact, the light is exactly what we need to concentrate on. The light of Christ will always combat the evils of the adversary and assist us in the battle of life.

I received great counsel from my wife not long ago when she spoke these words, “Your reactions are your own, and therefore no one but you carries the blame” (4). These same words can be and are assessed to one’s anger as well. No one made anyone “do it”, or “mad”. In these times we all look for excuses and scapegoats to take the responsibility of our actions and reactions. My annoyances, frustrations, and anger toward my wife for which I wrongly think is her fault is not on her at all. I allow myself to be offended. I allow myself to become angry. No one else can influence me to do or think in these manners. I had to accept that it was me causing my biggest issues in my family and marriage.

Put aside your anger and your accusations. Look lovingly at your spouse with peace and understanding, and support his/her emotional needs. This cannot be done in the presence of anger and animosity, but only in the Christ-like love that should be within the marriage and family. Do not allow the adversary to plant the seeds of turmoil for his plan of familial destruction.

1. The New Obscenity. Reader's Digest. Dec 1988, p. 24.

2. Colossians 3:19. The Bible.

3. Colossains 3:21. The Bible.

4. Johnson, Donnita. Quoted directly to husband.